20. “FREAK MEโ โ Silk
โLet me lick you up and down, till you say stop,โ is the first line of the song, and by the second line you realize they weren’t talking about butter pecan ice cream on a cone.
19. “AGE AIN’T NOTHING BUT A NUMBER” โ Aaliyah
Add that the song is about an underage girl singing the title to an adultย man. Then add what we always knew about grown Robert Kelly and then teenage Aaliyahโs relationship, and you create the recipe for all types of wrong.
18. “OOPS” – Tweet
A grown woman is singing about pleasing herself; liberation. Middle-school adolescent repeating the song out loud in front of grandma; go to your room.
17. “DARLING NIKKI” โ Prince
How do we know Nikki was troubled? When the 11-year old daughter of former Vice President Al Gore was caught just listening to this song, we all got stuck with those infamous Parental Advisory stickers forever after.
16. “WHAT’S YOU FANTASY” โ Ludacris Ft. Shawnna
The song expresses the joy of licking, and itโs not referring to ice cream.
15. “BACK THAT THING UP” โ Juvenile Ft. Mannie Fresh & Lil Wayne
Understand that all plates and drink cups drop to the floor whenever a 30+ year-old hears the national summertime call to twerk, โCash Money Records taking over for the โ99 & 2000.โ However, no prepubescent male should be telling a young lady, โGirl, you look good, wonโt you back that thang up?!!โ
14. “ALL THE THINGS” โ Joe
Joe raised a generation of kids to believe that playa-hatinโ was okay. (How many of us are paying for that now?)
13. “LOVE SHOULDA BROUGHT YOU HOME”โ Toni Braxton
Your mom had a reason for singing this song. You, at age 11, did not.ย
12. “NANN” โ Trick Daddy & Trina
The chorus. Enough said.
11. “ANTE UP” โ M.O.P.
These are step-by-step audio instructions for how to rob someone.
10. “I’LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU” โ Boyz II Men
Newsflash: You singing this song in the same mirror that showed a reflection of your toys in the background wasnโt the best look.
9. “ANY TIME, ANY PLACE”โ Janet Jackson
โPeople walkinโ by are watchinโ us/ You feel so good inside my loveโ may not be the best poetry to recite in front of your elementary class.
8. “MY LITTLE SECRET” โ Xscape
An excellent cheat song that was levels above the typical Hide & Seeks for young ears.
7. “TOO CLOSE” โ Next
With โI wonder if she could tell that Iโm hard right now?!!โ as the opener and โYouโre making it hard for meโ as the hook, you shouldโve been on punishment for three summers if caught singing this song.
6. “FREAK YOU” โ Jodeci
It took adult years to realize that those memories of you and your friends in the back seat singing in a chorus fashion begging to have sex with someone for one night before puberty was not the best look.
5. “DOIN’ IT” โ LL Cool J
Hey Mom, what exactly does โDoinโ it and Doinโ it, and Doinโ it well,โ mean?!!
4. “RED LIGHT SPECIAL” โ TLC
As a child, you and your mother should not have been singing this song with the same passion.
3. “FREAK LIKE ME” โ Adina Howard
See title.
2. “AIN’T NO FUN” โ Snoop Dogg
As a kid, Snoop Doggโs early catalog is a list within itself, but this one is the crown jewel of I-know-you-bet-not!!
1. “SLOB ON MY KNOB” โ Three 6 Mafia
As much as this dirty South classic STILL goes hard in the club today, it remains THE most wrong song to sing of all time–whether you’re a kid, teen, adult, or soon-to-be senior citizen.
Honorable mentions:
Notorious B.I.G. โ “F*** You Tonight”
Lil Kimโs first album (the whole thing)
Any R. Kelly song
