Rappers and emcees love to brag about how they “Run this city [town or state].” So, let’s picture a world where your favorite MC is also your political leader, doing things in their own style.
Juicy J – Mayor of Las Vegas
Yes, we all know that the Juiceman is a proud Memphis native. But think about it: What if the moment you touchdown in Las Vegas airport, you see a huge sign featuring your favorite Three Sixx Mafia member that’s says, “Welcome 2 Vegas, where it’s trippy mane!!!” Followed by a hashtag #ShutTheFudUp that gives you 10% off your hotel stay.
Cardi B – Governor of Arizona
Sure, Arizona is known as a conservative stronghold that likes to pretend the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. holiday doesn’t exist, and that’s exactly why Cardi would be the best choice to shake things up. Imagine the horror on the faces of local politicians who support controversial and oppressive immigration laws when this proud South Bronx Dominicana yells “FudOuttaHere!” during a legislative hearing. Priceless.
Migos – Speaker(s) of the House
Technically the House Speaker is a position one doesn’t run for, but in this world let’s just say the Migos skip those rules. Like their songs, Quavo would start with a mallet in one hand and a mic in the other, ridiculing everyone in the room who doesn’t support legalizing marijuana. Then, Offset would quickly follow up with a personal story of how medical weed has helped his mother with a “MUM-Ma” adlib delivered by Takeoff.
Tyler the Creator – Florida Senator
Another conservative state whose voting protocols raise nationwide eyebrows will have met its match when the self-proclaimed Goblin Troll votes for an outlandish bill that pushes for Trump supporters to relocate to Alaska as punishment.
City Girls – Secretaries of the Treasury
Okay, this may sound a bit wild, but who better to handle the United States’ finances than BFFs Yung Miami and JT?!! Those billions of dollars that have always seemed to be for wars would suddenly find their way right into the service of every section-8 community. Folks who live to scam unemployment would fear the expertise of JT’s keen insight while Miami would allocate all extra funds to supply beauty shops and daycare centers with high-price, quality furniture.
50 Cent – California Congressman
In case you’ve been living under a rock, 50’s been Hollywood since long before the Source Awards even ended. His rags-to-riches story would resonate with the local youth of La La Land, and he could offer them employment working on the set of one of the many series in his Power TV franchise.
Lil’ Kim & Diddy – President and Vice-President of the United States
Picture Queen Bee Kim telling the United Nations “What you NOT gonna do!!” as Brother Love aka Diddy delivers a “Take that, take that” afterward. Lil’ Kim would develop a program that supplies affordable housing and less expensive foreign minks. Diddy would be her ultimate supporter/motivator with a veteran-Joe Biden-like energy that makes the house and senate feel comfortable with erasing all Black Folks’ debt every year as part of a reparations package.
Of course, none of these events should ever happen. But if one is to dream, then it should be a dream for the culture.
